Leading Through Relationship, Not Intimidation
- Lisa Askins
- Aug 31
- 2 min read
Updated: Sep 2
Designing leadership with awareness and care.
As a kid, I liked the safety of structure — knowing what was happening next. But authority for the sake of “because I said so” confused me. For a child who valued the why as much as the how, forcing me to do anything only led to resistance.
Performance driven by intimidation rarely creates joy that lasts into adulthood.
Leadership by degree is not leadership at all — it’s coercion.
This perspective gave me insight to think differently about what it means to lead. In contrast to intimidation, I invite you to imagine leadership through the lens of relationship and conscious design.
That means we lead not from authority alone, but from connection. We make choices not by habit or hierarchy, but through awareness, alignment, and care. These are not just leadership traits, they are design principles.
How we relate is how we lead.
And how we lead shapes the structures and systems around us.
By grounding ourselves in relationship and designing with intention, we begin to transform both our leadership and the world we inhabit. Take a moment and notice where you are — and where you might need to shift.
Reflective Questions
Where have I experienced leadership rooted in intimidation or authority alone? How did it shape my response — did I comply on the surface but disengage inside, resist openly or quietly withdraw, over-perform out of fear, or question my sense of trust and belonging?
In my own leadership, when do I lean on hierarchy or habit rather than awareness and care? Do I default to “because I said so,” avoid explaining the why, or rely on structure when connection would serve better?
If how I relate is how I lead, what does my way of relating reveal about me today? Do I listen deeply, create safety, invite feedback — or do I sometimes shut down, rush past, or minimize what others bring?
What one small shift could I make this week to strengthen relational trust in my work? Could I pause before reacting, invite someone’s perspective I don’t usually hear, or express appreciation where I’ve been silent?
Awareness brings presence to our leadership, and intention guides our transformation.
Let’s talk. If you’re navigating change and want to lead with more clarity, confidence, and connection, I’d love to support your next step.
