Dignity in Dialogue

Lisa Askins
Jul 12
3 min read

Updated: Sep 2

How language reveals what and who we value at work.

Dignity is the backbone of conversations we have every day. In team meetings. In performance reviews. In quick chats before a call.

How we speak about employees, customers, colleagues, or leadership reveals what we believe about people.

And in professional settings, where language is often filtered, rushed, or coded, it’s easy to forget that dignity is on the line every time we open our mouths.

We often think of dignity as something that lives in policies or decisions, but it also lives in the everyday words we choose. Dialogue isn’t just communication, it’s our values.

A Moment That Stayed With Me

Before I ever led teams, I learned how much language matters.

I was sitting around a wide table in high school art class. Paints open, conversations flowing. A classmate began describing her situation using disparaging language. She didn’t know I was one of the people she was talking about.

I remember how that felt. And I said something. I let her know that her words were hurtful and that she hurt me.

She wasn’t trying to be cruel. She was repeating language she had been taught—an unconscious shortcut reflecting bias more than intention.

That moment has stayed with me. And it shaped how I listen and speak in professional spaces, where shortcuts are common and dignity can be lost without anyone realizing it.

Those early lessons became a foundation for how I approach leadership communication today.

How Dignity Is Eroded in Corporate Language

And in corporate environments, it’s often in the small, habitual language choices where dignity gets reinforced or undermined. Here are a few patterns to notice:

1. Deficit Framing in Performance Reviews

“They’re just not strategic.” “She’s too emotional.”

What assumptions underlie our feedback? Are we naming specific behaviors or vague character judgments?

2. Talking About People Who Aren’t in the Room

How do we speak in leadership team meetings, exit debriefs, or hiring conversations? Are we careful with people’s stories even when they can’t hear us?

3. Lazy Labels and Loaded Language

“Culture fit.” “Difficult.” “Resistant to change.” These phrases often conceal discomfort or bias. They shut down inquiry and flatten people into stereotypes.

4. Euphemisms That Dilute Responsibility

Terms like “rightsizing” or “low engagement” may soften the message, but they often obscure accountability or reality. If we can’t say something with clarity, it’s worth asking why.

Practices for Dignified Dialogue at Work

Dignity in dialogue isn’t about perfection; it’s about presence. Here are a few ways to lead with intention:

Use language that reflects possibility, not final judgment
Give feedback that’s specific, respectful, and rooted in shared purpose
Avoid speaking about someone in ways you wouldn’t speak to them
Practice repair: when you get it wrong, acknowledge it and course correct
Model curiosity: “Can you help me understand how you see this?” instead of “That’s just not how we do things here”